I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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