I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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