just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
