never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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