we're chasing vodka with high fives
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
