i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize