Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
