Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
