Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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