Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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