I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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