Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did I show you my penis last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
