Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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