I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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