Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
