he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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