This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
