I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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