Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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