how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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