He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
