Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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