So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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