shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think i peed on brittanys purse
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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