Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
oh god was she eating orange peels again
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
