Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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