Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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