It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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