yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
