so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
