We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
