Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
where are you?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE