I can text with my tongue
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.