but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
