I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How's work?
Spinning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
