Your tits are I can't wait for
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
