He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
