I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
