wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it glows. i had to have it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
