like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
