he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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