yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
