I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
what day is it and did you see me today?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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