dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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