I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pants are for mortals
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