Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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