According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm always down for nudity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
