Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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