before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's the barista slut.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
