why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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