I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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