hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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