if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My ass is underappreciated
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
