I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
