He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
