The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
