then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
